Churchianity Volunteer Management

My liturgical dancing takes me around the world and as such I get to meet some amazing people. Recently I had the chance to chat with noted Churchianity Management guru, Bernard Oofnut (see image on right) on his famous Church Volunteer Management Model.

FD: Thanks for your time, you are an important and busy man.

BO: Agreed.

FD: Tell us about your model.

BO: Well I have several degrees from the best universities and have written three best seller books including: Get off your pew and be like me which is available through Amazon for $16.95; though for a limited time if you purchase 100 you get a 5% discount.

FD: Err thanks, getting back to your model.. tell us about it.

BO: It is called the Battery Church Volunteer Management Systems Approach Model or BCVMSAM for short or if you like even shorter acronyms, BCVMSA. The basic idea is that you view volunteers like batteries: once the volunteer is tired, or 'used up' then you discard them, or to be more gentle about it, move them on.

FD: Move them on?

BO: Well I discerned that one of the major issues in managing volunteers was when they burnt out they became useless and their performance dropped.

FD: Wouldn't it be better to manage them in a way to avoid burn out? Give them regular breaks, encourage them with presents and acknowledge them in front of the church?

BO: (Laughs) They are only volunteers, we are not talking about real staff here.

FD: So what are the challenges with your Battery Model?

BO: BCVMSAM thankyou. The main issue is having a good supply of batteries to keep the ministry going. This requires the application of the Guilt Method which I devised. This involves making sure that the congregation knows membership has to involve a role in the church. We don't just want people coming to church to be fed. Church isn't about listening to God and sharing within community, it is about doing work, being busy.

FD: You have some interesting thoughts, thanks for sharing.

BO: Agreed.

For more information see: www.BatteryChurchVolunteerManagementSystemsApproachModel.com